did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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