Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
