Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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