I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
operation have a gay friend backfired
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize