The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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