then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
