I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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