my sisters under your porch take her home
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
