Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
