The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
