In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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