this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
