the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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