do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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