I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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