guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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