Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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