i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
