I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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