yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
