By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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