I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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