This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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