Me too!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
