guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
