sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
