woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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