hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
