Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
