So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
too bad you live with your parents still
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
