So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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