You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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