I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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