I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think your dad took our porno
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
