is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
