I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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