Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
