I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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