Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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