i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
