Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
