so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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