You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
