Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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