The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
