do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it hurts more in the daytime
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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