so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
