Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
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I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
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totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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