We're facebook friends in real life
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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