if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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