i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
