reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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