I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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