office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
