I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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