I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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