Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
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Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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