It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
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My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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