Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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