i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My vagina is officially offended.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
