Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
