I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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