Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
