I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I got inside last night via doggy door
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
