Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
